Blown Away

This morning I'd had enough. I was sitting in my living room, eating a bowl of not-so-great cereal, when I jump a mile as German hip-hop comes blasting through the walls. This had happened at 8am on Monday morning too - except then my eyes flew open and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. A shrieking German DJ is really not the way to start your morning. And I really don't like FFH - not that I like any of the German radio stations here - sorry German readers, they just have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many commercials and hip hop/pop for me. (bluegrass, indie, folk, classic rock stations anybody?)

The culprit was the apartment on the other side, in the other house attached to ours, but with a different stairway, landlord, etc. Basically uncharted territory for me. This apt. also has the rep. of having rude inhabitants, but I'd had enough. I was mad. It isn't fair to subject others to crummy music! and at that volume! and at these hours! It's just not nice. I was steamed.

Off I went. I went down our walk, out our gate, closed our gate, went down the sidewalk, opened their gate, tried not to slam their gate, and then panicked as I stared at all the buzzer options. I picked one and had to ring it twice before the main door opened. I panicked, what would I say? Maybe I should just leave...? I've never 'blown up' at somebody outside my own family, and I knew I was likely to blow up now, in a foreign language, in uncharted territory, etc. But it wasn't fair, I couldn't stand it. So up I went. By now everything inside of me was trembling...oh boy, how to do this?? I was really angry, but how to handle conflict like this? You can't mess it up, b/c neighbors stick around, they don't leave so fast, and you have to live with that.

Well, she was in her 40's or so. And she was considerably shorter than I. When I asked if it was her that had her radio so loud...oh boy. She lit into me for a good 5 minutes, I kid you not. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Part of me wanted to cry, part of me wanted to run, and part of me wanted to just ream her out in English and tower over her and wave my hands around. Despite my shaking, I found myself speaking in a level tone. She invited me in. (yes, German shrieking in a concrete stairwell is really hard on the ears) She showed me her teenage daughter's stereo. She turned the stereo and her voice down a notch, repeating all the time about her "rights" and how she can listen to music at any time and at any volume she wants, etc.

I leaned against a doorframe and waited. And then I thought I shouldn't lean against their doorframe b/c it was probably rude and not ladylike of me, so I stood up. She kept yelling at me some more. When she went up for air I asked if I could speak for just a moment, and she just steamrolled me some more with yelling about her rights. By now my shaking had stopped and I could hear that still, small voice inside that said a) this women clearly has issues and b) this woman probably has no friends and c) she has a lot of anger and not-happy in her life.

We talked. She turned the music way down. She understood my issues with how it's so loud for me. She even felt bad. Then she invited me into her kitchen, where her teenage daughter sat, staying home sick from school that day and had heard everything. She asked me if I wanted coffee. She and her daughter started talking to me like I was a friend. It was weird, but yet I felt like they needed somebody to be nice to them. After I had listened to her lambast me, I had earned the right to say how I felt. Not that I should have to earn the right, but you have to meet people where they're at sometimes.

That said, it just reinforced my wanting to get to a new apartment. I don't want to hear every cough, door slam, violin playing, shuffle up the stairs, etc. And, though I'm getting better at dealing with serious confrontation, I don't want to have to get better at it in my own building.

Stressful dealings done in a foreign language are so draining by the way. When I came home I felt like I'd run a marathon. Phew!