English and a few German 'fun' facts

Hello? Anybody there? I've started teaching English once a week at the university and it's been the hugest, most un-anticipated time suck ever. This is the main reason why you've been left hanging about that sermon of Stefan's (which went swimmingly, by the way).

How does a once-a-week class kill my entire week? Parking in a land far, far away. Policies that don't require students to purchase the book, thereby forcing this teacher to photocopy nearly every single page in the 193 page textbook. Yes, you read that correctly. Totally appalling! You have no idea how much time this takes. And then there's collating. And stapling. For 16 students. The pictures below show copies for one class only. There are 13 sessions in total.

Another factor is the football field's distance between the teacher's workroom and the copy machines. Oh, and the fact that the copy machines rarely work. Then I have to whip out my technical German and de-jam a machine auf Deutsch. That's fun when you're sweaty from running all the way up there (yeah, it's also on another floor from where I teach/work) and the clock is ticking because once again you forgot to copy something (this is my own fault...I have lists, they just never seem to work when it comes to copies for some reason) and class is about to start.

I live in fear of the moment when a student will invariably ask me to explain what the 'present perfect simple' is and why they should use it. This happens often and so far (thankfully) my standard answers of deflection have worked: "Jane, how would you explain the present perfect simple to Tommy?" and "Let's go back and look at the examples and see if we/you can find some clues...". I'm a terrible grammar teacher! I signed up to do this to see what I thought, despite the fact that the pay is pretty much a joke. I feel fine teaching writing or topical courses (semester 3 of Scientific Writing also started and is going very well!), but this grammar stuff is for the birds!

In other news: well, not news really, but I think you should all know...spiders in Germany are HUGE!! I didn't want to post a scary close-up on the blog (not that I would get that close anyhow), but I think these are good enough. This is an average-sized spider. We see lots of big 'uns too. Yeah, you don't want to see a big 'un! If I posted a picture of one of those bad boys you'd faint, fall off your chair and your laptop would smash to the floor. Then I'd feel bad.

So, think of all the times you see a wolf spider in the US. Right, so that's how often we see these guys. I HATE them! They never cease to freak me out. This is why we put screens on our windows (b/c screens are sooo not standard in this country!). You literally can't smash these with a shoe, there will be too much mess, so Stefan (i know, i know) grabs two paper towels, makes a sweeping motion and then flushes the deceased. Burial at sea.

Fun fact #1: there are no poisonous spiders in Germany! They may be 10x bigger, but there's no worry that it's a black widow or brown recluse. I have to give them that.

Fun fact #2: there's only one poisonous snake in Germany and he's rare. However, you can easily spot him because he's black with white crosses/diamonds on his back. Phew again!

'Fun' fact #3: I took the spider pix leaning out of my driver's side door once I'd pulled into the garage. This how much space you get in a typical German home's garage. Thanks to the wall alongside the driveway, it doesn't get much better when I back out and then have to run up and shut the garage door. If I had a euro for every time I've wished I had an electric garage door opener, let alone a double garage, I'd be rich. And when a spider parks himself next to my car doors, he sets up a gauntlet of sorts for me to get out...ugh. Ugh again! I'm certain I made a total fool out of myself getting out of the garage today...sigh.

Be thankful for that double garage and electric opener folks!